Boyfriend demands his girlfriend return the car her friend, Luke, bought her as a birthday gift, claiming it is inappropriate to accept such an expensive gift from another man: 'Most of our friends are on his side'

Author image for Emma Saven
Emma Saven
Sep 5, 2025 4:00 PM EDT

Potential boundary crossing incoming: Okay, let us get this straight, You're lifelong guy best friend just bought you a car worth thousands of dollars for your birthday, and you actually believe it's just a platonic relationship from his side. Babe, Romeo wouldn't have even bought Juliet a Volkswagen, whether he could've afforded it or not…No wonder your boyfriend is fuming. We think anyone would be…

Maybe we need to switch the narrative a bit, imagine your boyfriend's girl bestie buying him a Rolex for Christmas, I don't think your scrapbook would be looking too great next to that green box…Just because he's feeling vulnerable doesn't necessarily mean he's insecure. He can be happy for his girlfriend, but still feel like a line was very much crossed for her guy friend's side. So is it so wrong of him to ask her to return the car? Because it seems as though her only solution is to either turn the car and keep her boyfriend, or return her boyfriend and keep the car
 

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  • We’re not quite sure the correct thing to do here. Maybe he should just bite his tongue and take the free ride…but would that sit right with him? Her family thinks he’s being ridiculous and that she should absolutely keep the car. They’ve known her friend since he was a kid, and truly believe it was a sincere gesture of friendship…We’d love to know where they purchased that pairs of rose colored glasses because we could use a little more delusion in our lives! 

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    Woman getting a new car from boyfriend
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    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

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    WIBTA if I don’t return the car my friend bought me as a birthday present?

    It was my birthday a few weeks ago and my friend Luke bought me a car as a birthday present because I didn't have one. It's
    via Waffles973
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    nothing fancy but I'm beyond grateful to him because having a car has made my life so much easier.
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    Unfortunately, my boyfriend isn't happy that Luke gave me such an expensive gift. He said it's inappropriate for another man to
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    buy me a car so he wants me to return it. Most of our friends are on his side and agree it's weird for Luke to have bought me the
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    car. I've known Luke my whole life and he's practically family so I don't see it the same way as them. None of my family find it
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    weird and my brother told me that Luke said I should sell the car if I didn't want it but he wouldn't take it back.
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    I keep fighting with my boyfriend over the car and he refuses to even sit in it now but I really don't think I should return it as I know Luke and he'll just be offended. WIBTA if I don't return it?
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    nuggets256 INFO what was the cost of the car approximately and is Luke very well off? Have you and Luke ever had a romantic relationship?
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    Waffles973 OP I don't know a lot about cars so I'm not too sure how much it costs but it's a volkswagen polo and I'm in the UK if that helps. Compared to me he's well off but if you ask him he'd say he's "comfortable". We've never had a romantic relationship, we're JUST friends.
    via Waffles973
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    Woman annoyed with boyfriend
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    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

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    quick_justice In UK car is an extraordinary gift. Polo may not be that expensive, but that's not the point here. We are not car culture and people don't gift cars to someone they are not very close with normally. It's not even a money question. Hand on heart, do you think Luke might be interested in you? If yes, perhaps you must return the gift.
    via quick_justice
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    Waffles973 OP Hand on heart, he's not interested in me in that way. He's always treated me like a younger sister and there's nothing remotely romantic or s ual about our relationship
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    phazedout1971 Return the boyfriend, keep the car
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    Arterial3 Red flag alert. Your boyfriend sounds controlling. He can find it odd, he can be puzzled - yes. But to tell you that you should return it - no.
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    Just River 7502 Keep the car, lose the boyfriend. Because what is his solution to you not having a car? Is he going to buy you one? Of course not. Dude needs to be quiet
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    Welford Nelferd YWNBTA. Surely your boyfriend also benefits from your having a car, and who cares what everyone else thinks about it? Your boyfriend needs to lose his toxic masculinity mentality.
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    FlameWalka Holy fk you and the comments are beyond naive and delusional. No, a normal person does not spend thousands of dollars on a gift for a friend because they've known each other a long time. No, normal people do not spend thousands of dollars on anybody's birthday gift, not even actual family or girlfriends.
    via FlameWalka
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    ThatOneGirlyx05 NTA, but I would be heavily questioning why Luke got you something so expensive, no matter if it's fancy or not. A car is a car. That's a high-level gift that I would only give my fiancé/immediate family.
    via ThatOneGirlyx05
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    kurokomainu YTA The overwhelming odds are that Luke is interested in you as more than a friend. You may be kidding yourself thinking that good ol' platonic friend Luke just wanted to buy you you a great birthday gift (one he has never come close to buying for his other friends I bet) but part of you must know that there must be more to this.
    via kurokomainu
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    jademistyy You're NTA. It was a gift, it helps you out, and your family's fine with it. Your bf's just insecure and that's his problem, not the car.
    via jademistyy
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    audioeptesicus If you have a friend who sees a need and fulfills it, then that's a good friend. Anyone getting in the way of or has any problem with said need needs to step back and figure out why it's an issue. It's almost always going to be a 'them' issue.
    via audioeptesicus

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Tags

boyfriend just friends love triangle drama car Awkward platonic friends relationship-drama gift relationships couples memebase family expensive return-car taking sides
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